Cautiously Optimistic? Pessimistic? Believe?

Sometimes you have to choose.
Somethimes you cannot sit in the stadium and cheer for both sides. Sometimes you can't ride the fence without falling with one leg on each side. (sorry for the visual men).
The bible says you are either hot or you are cold, because luke warm isn't an option (paraphrasing).
So, last Friday I learned that June 12th is a day like that for me. Showtime. Faith in action or no faith? I really shouldn't even write apost that makes it about me!! But it the situation put a mirror in front of my face and at first I didn't like what I saw to the point of tears.
When Jay Lowder was here he spoke about an addition to alcohol he had. Bad addiction. Attempted suicide. You get the picture. He spoke about God getting ahold of him and him being saved. He spoke eloquently about being called to the ministry. He then told the story of the reactions to that call:
The "church" folk knew who he used to be and sneered that God couldn't or wouldn't use him to reach a lost world.
The "bar" folk he used to run with saw a changed man that could reach the anyone because he had been where they were!! They were truly excited for his new mission, his new life!!

I don't want to be a pharisee. I don't want to be a pew holder. I don't want to talk about the miracles God used to do!!


Is God smaller than he was when he raised Lazarus from the dead?
Or is the Lazarus thing just a story?

Is God smaller than he was when the four men dropped the man through the ceiling to be healed?
Or was that just a story?

When Andrea & Shep had a little girl years ago. Andrea and Caroline almost died during the birth. Caroline came out of it severely handicapped. Caroline can't walk. Caroline can't talk. Caroline can't eat. Caroline can't, can't, can't.
Now allow me to tell you what Caroline can do!! Caroline can light a room up. Caroline has an infectious smile. Caroline CAN communicate with you. I have seen Caroline on stage with her class when all the children were singing a song and dancing, performing for their parents, Caroline is singing and dancing, but she doesn't know that her parents are in the room. I promise you that I have seen Caroline worshipping at the feet of God.
Shep and Andrea have believed from the start that Caroline would be healed. They have received encouragement through MANY ways.
I have always SAID that I stand with them. That I believe that God CAN heal her. Through many different ways they feel that God has told them it will happen this Friday. June 12th.
Interesting huh?
There in lies the title to the post:
Am I pessimistic?
Am I cautiously optimistic?
Do I believe?
There is where the mirror got held up for me. You see, Wednesday until Sunday we are going to Jackson (Donna's hometown) to see family, go to a reunion, and pick in the garden.
But, that makes NO sense.
If I BELIEVE that God can heal her, why would I be anywhere else on Friday but near Caroline Helton? That wouldn't make sense. The only reason I would go to Jackson, is if I did NOT believe that God could heal Caroline.
Well, Craig, it's not that God can't heal her, maybe they just got the date wrong, or they WANT it to happen so bad they are hearing things that aren't there. NO. Period.
That is not what it comes down to today for me. See, I have been struggling. Since Friday.
Whether Andrea and Shep got the date right is not relevant to the discussion God is having in my life.
Whether or not June 12th is a day that changes the world or not is not relevant!!
What is relavant is this:
Do I believe that God USED to perform miracles?
Do I believe that God is still big enough to perform miracles?
Do I believe in God?
Since the answer to all 3 of those questions is YES, the reason why it is not relevant as to whether June 12th is going to change the world, is that June 12th is going to change ME and my family.
WE ARE GOING TO BE IN CARTERSVILLE GEORGIA ON FRIDAY IN ANTICIPATION THAT GOD IS GOING TO ROCK MY WORLD.
We are cancelling our trip and I am taking Friday off from work; why you ask?
Because....
What if?.

C